'I felt like committing suicide...'INTERVIEW WITH DEBORAH ALFRED

I felt like committing suicide...

- Former Miss Hospitality, Ambassador, Niger Delta- 2016/17

Intro: Those who say that the beautiful ones are not yet born are yet to meet Deborah Alfred, a graduate of Economics of the University of Calabar, Cross River State, Nigeria. She is also former Miss Hospitality Ambassador, Niger Delta- 2016/17

Deborah is an emblem of beauty. Adorable and angelic in appearance, her beauty sparkles and startles, radiating brightness on every visible part of her freshy and fleshy skin. A rare combination of beauty and brain, Deborah Alfred appears soft and stylistic but she has experienced the hard and hot parts of life in her young age.

For this flowering and flourishing figure, success did not come cheap. There were days she stayed without food. There were days she trekked long miles to school. Her stories may not be palatable and may pop tears from your eyes but she came out strong to become the pleasant personality that she is.

Though she never enjoyed any parental love, care and comfort, she looks forward to raising a noble and fine family.

In this interview with Global Achievers, Deborah Alfred, who is twenty-two years old, she reminiscences over her unpleasant past and talks about her future with great optimism and deep faith in God.

GA: Can we meet you?

Deborah: I am Deborah Alfred. I am from a polygamous family. My father married three wives. My mother was the last wife. I have seventeen brothers and six sisters. I am the 22nd child of my family. Last Born of my father, and my mother's first daughter.

I am a native of Biakpan in Biase Local Government Area of Cross River State.

I am a winner. I worship with Living faith church.

GA: How was growing up like for you?

Deborah: It was not easy. It was not pleasant. But I am glad I experienced most things. It shaped me. I am so glad because growing up was not easy. Nevertheless, it was the reason I am who I am today. It was miserable. Sometimes, I felt I could just commit suicide. But I did not. Thank God!

It was really tough. From feeding, to clothing, to shelter, to my education. Well, I am glad things are no more the same.

GA: Can you share some of those unforgettable moments with us?

Deborah: The unforgettable moments in my life are those times I had no food, no shelter and no family. There were times I also felt depressed and had insomnia. Again, there were times some men attempted some forms of sexual harassments and made disgraceful advances at me but I resisted them so strongly. Those moments were hurtful and unforgettable. I could erase them but I still need to think of them to make me stronger and give me courage to achieve all I want in life.

The memories I cherish are those times my friends stood by me. Kingsley Livinus Nebe and Patience Mmuo Chinenye. I would not forget those people in a hurry. They are my best friends and my family from another parents.

They were always there to encourage me to keep going and not quit.

GA: Can you lead us into your educational background?

Deborah: I did not attend the best schools. I never went to a nursery school. I schooled in Biakpan community primary school in Biase Local Government Area of Cross River State. I left after primary five to Calabar and sat for common entrance examination.

Afterwards, I started secondary school at Federal Government Girls College, Calabar in Cross River State. I did not finish one term I was removed to a private school; Hope and Love Secondary School in same state. I completed my junior classes there. Then I was removed to Margaret Ekpo Secondary School Calabar, in same state, where I sat and obtained the West African Senior Secondary Certificate Education.

I got admission into the University of Calabar in 2015 where I studied Economics and graduated last year.

GA: What informed your decision to read Economics in the University?

Deborah: Honestly, I did not want to study Economics. I did not even know I would ever attend tertiary institution. So when I found myself there, I just put in for it. I had many courses in mind. I loved Geography so I wanted to do that but I did not find myself doing it. I liked tourism and hospitality yet I did not do it. Besides, law did not work out. So I had to study Economics. I thought it would be like secondary school economics. But honestly, it was not easy at all.

GA: How was life in the University?

Deborah: It was tough. Really tough! I did not think it was going to be that rough. But I am glad the ride was rough. From sleeping in the class room, to starving all day, to not being able to buy text books, to trekking eight miles to school. Which no one ever believed. I understand that heroes are always unbelievable. Life in the university was a different world entirely. But I was a hustler. I make hair. It is a God given talent. I did not learn it. I simply found myself making hair. I mean good hair. So that was how I was managing to survive.

Also, University introduced me to modeling and pageantry. This is what I will always be grateful for. That was where everything started changing. But it was roughly changing. One moment it would seem everything was fine. Surprisingly then, it bounces back the next moment. Honestly I was tired of the life. But I was not ready to give up because I saw how bright the future was. The university taught me so much I cannot explain. My life started there. I took from the university the best gift ever. My two best friends; Patience Mmuo and Kingsley Livinus. I went! I saw!! I conquered!!! And still took out a lot.

GA: You do not look what you have been through in life. What is the secret?

Deborah: First, I know that God is always up to something. And then one cannot even question what he is always up to. Honestly I am surprised as well. But I used to tell myself: You do not have to show the whole world what you are going through. You do not need to let people see how hurt you are. Because even though people tend to always want to know, some will still mock at you. It is good to ask for help. But believe me, some just want to know what is up in your life. I did not need pity. I always knew I will be great but I just did not know when. So I held on tight. I worked hard, I prayed. And in my prayers I never complained to God. I always only thank him in every situation. I was not pretending to be happy. God just did not want me to look like my situation. So I obeyed.

GA: What lessons did you learn from your parents?

Deborah: Unlike other people, I did not grow up with my parents. I stayed with a lot of different people. My father died when I was eight years old. So, I heard because I do not remember meeting him. My mother abandoned us when we were little. So we grew up with different families. My family is not united. Everyone is on his own. So I did not even understand what love was or what it feels like to have parental love. I lived with my mother's step brother. But you see, no matter how hard you try, you can never love another man's child like you would your own child. He took care of us and sheltered us. I appreciate him for the food and shelter through the hard times. It helped build me. I literally learnt some principles of life on my own. I read lots of books while growing up. It helped me. And I used to ask elderly people lots of questions. All that helped me.

GA: What is your future aspiration?

Deborah: I aspire a whole lot. I have so many ideas and dreams. But my biggest aspiration is to be a UN Ambassador or the WHO ambassador. Ultimately, I aspire to be able to help those around me as much as possible. No matter how small I can impact... And I know God will help me.

GA: What qualities do you look out for in a life partner?

Deborah: First, I am not really a picky person. I believe in worth and ambitions. Just be ambitious. Not just that, work towards it. I will be ready to work with a partner who is a goal-getter. He must not be perfect. Perfection is almost a lie when it comes to humans. Just be yourself and do your best and never quit to try.

GA: Are you engaged or married?

Deborah: People keep asking me this same question. I mean, do I look married? Well, NO I'm not engaged. And I am not married.

I am single and not searching for now.

GA: Do you consider tribal, age and other differences in your choice of a life partner?

Deborah: Absolutely not. We humans are meant to be different so we can get to understand and learn from one another. So I don't see all that as a barrier.

GA: What kind of family do you hope to raise?

Deborah: Well, I just want to raise a noble family. We do not have to be perfect. And by God's grace I hope to raise outstanding children that will represent what life is all about. I hope to raise them in love, God's wisdom and understanding, tolerance, passion, service to humanity, achieving set goals, and many others. So, help me God!

GA: Having had rough times while growing up, do you have plans to put up a scheme or initiative to better the lives of children?

Deborah: Of course. If I do not do that, I would not feel like I have made it. I keep praying for God's grace. It is one of my top priorities. I literally shed tears each time I come across suffering children and youths on social media and on the street. I feel the pains and the connection. That is because I have been there. It breaks my heart.

I will surely put up a scheme to give back to the society. I owe it to all of them out there.

GA: Do you hope to venture into politics someday?

Deborah: I am not sure about politics. I love leadership roles but politics, I am not sure yet. I just have a feeling I might be a minister or an adviser. Whichever way, time will tell.

GA: Where do you see Nigeria in the next five years?

Deborah: I so much love my country. That patriotism is there. I always have the positive mindset that Nigeria will be better. But our leaders are not helping matters. Despite that, I believe Nigeria will be much better in five years time. I see a better and competitive economy.

GA: What advice do you have for the youths?

Deborah: Please be yourself. Do not be in a hurry. Do things the society can benefit from. Be patient, be positive, be closer to your faith, read books outside your field and read a whole lot of books. Think outside the box. Think of how we can better the society. Do your best always and leave the rest for God. Above all, let love rule.

GA: What are your hobbies?

Deborah: I love to read books, cooking and trying new recipes, singing, dancing, hiking, playing volleyball ball, basketball, tennis ball, biking, adventure, and many more. I just love to do and try a lot of things.

I also love to act in front of the mirror. And I write a lot

GA: How do you relax?

Deborah: (smiles) Ohhh... close to the river and sometimes on a hilltop. I love nature so much. Words are not enough to say all.

GA: What is it that you can never do no matter how much is involved?

Deborah: Kill someone.

GA: What is your philosophy in life?

Deborah: Everyone cannot love you. It is impossible. So be you.

Try not to impress. for they that judge will always find fault whether you do good or bad.

GA: Do you believe in destiny?

Deborah: I mean who does not? We all have a reason for our existence. I really do believe in destiny.

GA: What lesson has life taught you?

Deborah: Life has taught me a lot. But ultimately, it has taught me tolerance and positivity. That's enough to live with in this world.

GA: What makes you cry?

Deborah: When I think of how much parental love I never experienced.

GA: What makes you smile?

Deborah: When I think of how far I have come in life.

GA: What is your perception about God and do you believe in the efficacy of prayer?

Deborah: I believe in God. I think he does things beyond human imagination and understanding. I believe he answers prayers. And prayers can change things.

GA: What do you want to be remembered for?

Deborah: I want to be remembered for my humanitarian services. And how much lives I impacted on while on earth.

GA: Thank you for granting us this interview.

Deborah: I really do appreciate this platform.